I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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