I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i just google imaged poop.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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