sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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