Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
