i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize