it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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