Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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