My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize