The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you had me at cake vodka
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
