The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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