..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
