In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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