I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
