If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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