I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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