No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
