just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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