I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
