I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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