It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
