Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
