I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
