Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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