Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
