the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
