it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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