Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
