paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
