if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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