Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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