She's JV to your varsity
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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