went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
