my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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