I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
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The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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