so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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