so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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