there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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