They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
