No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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