dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
