Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
