I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize