so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
