I skipped work to stalk him.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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