Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize