There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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