god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
