You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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