Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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