i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
