Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
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Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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