I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
