just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Help. Why am I so naked?
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