I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
