Tell her she can't have a vagina
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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