The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
