My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
