So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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