She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize