Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
